Yogafly2

home

right now is topsy turvy with boxes

boxes of memories and split second decisions

hasty and long thought out musings

and needs to satisfy a desire that perhaps was really a need?

indeed

I'm home now in my skin - and nesting is now the norm

when it wasn't so much in the past

and I ask 

and St. Therese de Avila answers with this poem

from Love Poems from God translated and compiled by Sir Daniel Ladinsky (as he should be a Sir or a Shri and both)

"Clarity is Freedom"

by St. Therese of Avila

I had tea yesterday with a great theologian,

and he asked me,

"What is your experience of God's will?"

I liked that question -

for the distillation of thought hones thought in others.

Clarity, I know, is freedom.

What is my experience of God's will?

Everyone is a traveler.  Most all need lodging, food, 

and clothes.

I let enter my mouth what will enrich me.  I wear what

will make my eye content,

I sleep where I will

wake with the

strength to

deeply

love

all my mind can

hold.

What is God's will for a wing?

Every bird knows

that.

oooh Mudita Yoga Center ooooh spiegeltent

Shawn just put out the eMudita Yoga newsletter.  Mudita Yoga Center is really such beautiful vibration.  I'm so happy to be part of this glorious beauty.  www.muditayogacenter.com

among the super fabulous yoga offerings at Mudita (cooking!  mantra!  healing!  bliss!  sweetness!  writing!  yantra!  Sanskrit!  book club!)  with no pressure.  there is no pressure cooker at all at Mudita.  Just sweetness.  Beings, I swear by all flowers.

and Shawn put in a sweet bit about Spiegeltent.  Now - what a treat the spiegel tenting experience is.  Jaw dropping.  

the perfect day

right now
right here
no planning
no scheming
no dreaming
exactly being

breathe and expand the heart

ode to this practice
my sweet friends
the grace that resides inside
forgiveness
utter and complete
we forget
everything
hilarious
I see the grace
of my Guru
always
gently
prodding me along
even as I bark
a thousand and eight complaints
at this being human
thing
that has been imposed
on my spirit
ha!
what a farce, a joke, a tickle
in the throat
all of it
sublime
like
hot hot hot embarrassment
crawling up the neckline
ears bright red
palms hot and death
a dancer
I dance with
again and again

lower back
midriff
aligned
or not
there is no
mudra like
kechari
have you done this
mudra yet?
it makes my skin
crawl but
heck
perhaps
we tried it in
another lifetime
or another
the scalp tingles
and the fingernails crackle

breath in the chest
a balloon
a breast
fresh
depleted
begging for mercy
and then a ton
more comes
and we need nothing
but trust
inward
like a soaring
bow
we push it into the
heart and let
the screams subside
to find
only that which love
can bind

The wisdom of Nisargadatta Maharaj

is such that you can only drop reading him and practice.

what is it I am looking for?

It's in the question - see it?

I-AM

man alive - sweet surrender.  It's the very existence of the nature.  Nisargadatta Maharaj and the dropping of the "dream."  See it?  That when we cling so very much to some sort of silly understanding of reality as propagated by fairy tales and myths (collective consciousness) then we suffer needlessly.  The questioner asks Maharaj, if a mother comes to you and tells you that her son is mired in drugs and sex, what would you tell her?   

I'm paraphrasing so please forgive:

Maharaj:  That all will be well.

Questioner:  What if the son doesn't change?

Maharaj:  All will be well.

Questioner:  It has been known that those who come to you for help change for the better.

Maharaj:  It could very well be the mother's love that has helped her son change.

Magnificent (this would be me - the judging mind that loves her adjectives) - my dreamworld is falling apart.  And this makes me tremendously happy.

scientific writing

you know - if I had continued with all my scientific writing after college, I would be writing like this:

"Rather than a facultative relic of the locomotion needs of our quadrupedal ancestors, arm swinging is an integral part of the energy economy of human gait," says the paper.

well, maybe not, I am capable of writing like the above, but doesn't it make me snooze?  Usually, if I put on a whole heck of a lot of Bach and read scientific papers, it all becomes tremendously interesting.  Thank Goddess for Bach.

Mantra

Meaning =

Sanskrit 

"man" = mind

"tra" = protect

mantra means to protect the mind 

protect it from what?  collective consciousness

also you protect it from over-thinking and analyzing 

as these block the hrd-akasha - (heart ether or heart-mind)

ordinariness

wild how I crave this

Guruji - I'm listening to him chant the Bhagavad Gita Chapter 6 with peeps from the Ashram.  And he is talking about beginners and advanced - and how sometimes beginners are advanced and advanced are beginners.  

True dat.  What does it mean to be advanced in primordial silence?

all of this becomes laughable at a certain point.

"ordinariness" - intriguing as how complex life had gotten for me in New York.  And I just want simplicity.  I just skipped out on a big project management meeting tonight because I couldn't handle any more mind stuff.

The money will come.  Right now I just need the ordinary act of meditation.  And silence.  Breath and blue sky.  How is my life unfolding in Austin?  just like this...I got to watch the blue sky for a long time under the trees at Barton Springs.  That felt very good.  I stuck my feet up in the sky a couple of times to see them play with the trees. 

and we create the YogaLife program at Love Yoga - me and Lauran - while living a YogaLife.  No pressure.  No need to prove anything at all.  Just unfolding.  I do love aging.  it's a wonderful, wonderful thing to creak out of this body and expand in all directions....

seedless samadhi

there's a lot of breakthrough happening for this one

it's unbearably uncomfortable

utterly

seriously 

and yet

we talk about it

the feeling

like there's a balloon expanding in my chest

and it's going to POP

and strangely enough

sometimes you will hear a popping sound 

when some new layer of consciousness opens up

and then absolutely

nothing

i know nothing

this is my mantra - 

it's nice

it feels good

also

abandon all hope

that one also feels good

also

I am alone and will always be alone

they all seem negative, yes?

But really they are totally positive.  This is the meaning of Tantra.