Listen to the Heart

And hearts everywhere. Sometimes I wonder how God puts up with us, puts up with me :-) I see that my 6th chakra, thinking mind, is so much on OVERdrive, HYPERdrive that my little heart has to contract so much and tense up to get my brain's attention. Thankfully, I can feel that contraction in the heart when she says to the mind - "that's all very well and good, Ms. Analyzer, but soften into the heart and feel."

Fabulous really, when I do this, what's often the first thing that happens? Tears, like a torrential downpour of tears so much sometimes that a WAILING starts happening and a sobbing and seriously, after sometimes, a couple of hours, I do start laughing and laughing and laughing. What a funny phenomenon. Shri Brahmananda Sarasvati has a booklet called the "Crying and the Laughing" or something like this. I'm not quite one for memorizing exact names of books, movies, songs, etcetera. Never have been. My mind seems to like to reject this. I tend to describe things like - you know that movie about Vietnam where they play Russian roulette, and someone inevitably says "Deerhunter." Disturbing flick. I watched it while praying to God for some succor for our people on this planet - a long time ago.

So those of you who know the booklet know what I'm talking about - and if you really want to buy it - it's an excellent source material for helping me feel not like a MANIAC when I have these fits of sobbing and laughing all at once - you can go to Ananda Ashram and ask for it and they'll know what you're talking about.

Guruji says to run into the woods and cry by one's self - then it's genuine. It's true, when I cry to people - and of course, it's absolutely wonderful to cry to people like my parents - who listen, laugh and pray with me or scoff off my tears and tell me to go to God - but when I cry to people who can't handle "om my God, there's such a thing as EMOTIONS and FEEEEELINGS? Who invented EMOTIONS and FEEEEEELINGS?" then they usually want you to, "for God's sake, please stop crying, it's embarrassing and weird..." So then you become disingenuous about your crying.

My parents always let my brother cry too - growing up. They never stopped him - and that's why my big bro (well he's younger but bigger than me) is such a sweetheart. Totally sensitive and strong at the same time - and absolutely doesn't really need to talk to people much, but when he's around we have sweetness. I love my baby bro and his lovely wife. I've learned a lot from my brother about not being so caught up in people's dramas or weirdness and just looking at it all from afar.

So how to listen to the heart? Meditation. The only answer.

And how to take care of the heart?
Well, last week, I had a pretty stressful tense time at work - as everyone who had an ear heard this weekend at the Ashram - and I didn't like the tension that stayed in my chest. So on Saturday evening, gorgeous dusk, I went running. And as I ran, the weight on my heart lifted and lifted and took off on angel's wings.

Then I sat on the phone and talked to my best friend since sixth grade, Valerie Montez, for about 2 hours and we sent each other so much love, compassion, understanding and advice. Fabulous.

The picture of the heart is one I took yesterday - it was created in gum, stepped on by thousands of New Yorkers and is a reminder that a heart an grow anywhere.

Much love,
Sumukhi
Betty
Yogafly
Rivera
Natasha
Lanuza