so warm by the fire

I love autumn.

really - it is so just yummy.  Sitting at Joan Suval's feet today - and asking why it is that I keep falling asleep lately during meditation - and she asked what it was like. 

And I said - I always know it's ended.  That the meditation or the yoga nidra has ended and I get up. 

And she explained that the consciousness has to watch me sleeping.  That the consciousness has to watch the body sleep during sleep or watch it meditating.  And then I am in the real.

And that I am experiencing yoga nidra - it's just that the body isn't so accustomed to such deep relaxation that I think I'm sleeping. 

I've always said that when I drop into that state - there's absolutely nothing - and there's an unusual sense of what exactly is an "I"?

then the room comes back into view - the living room or bedroom this "I" finds itself in - and it's all very unusual.   extraordinary - that I am in a room and there are people and there are things.  And yet - it's really all just in time and space.  And the space aspect is much bigger than really all the places where we cram the ego and try to say "me," "mine," "no one else's"....

let's see what happens this evening in meditation and after - Guruji and Ramana Maharshi are guiding the way.  And Joan Suval. 

amazing grace.